SEX!

I know I have your attention now.  Before we start, I noticed the cover photo of the book which I included in Tuesday’s  blog did not show up in the blog entry sent to my e-mail, although it was right there on the screen as I was writing.  Did anyone else have a blank spot where the picture was?  Please let me know.

I haven’t found too much about sex that’s different from the problems of non-CKD patients although with this disease there may be a lower sex drive accompanied by a loss of libido and an inability to ejaculate.  Usually, these problems start with an inability to keep an erection as long as usual.  The resulting impotency has a valid physical, psychological or psycho-physical cause.

Some of the physical causes of impotence, more recently referred to as Erectile Dysfunction [E.D.] for a CKD patient could be poor blood supply since there are narrowed blood vessels all over the body.  Or maybe it’s leaky blood vessels.  Of course, it could be a hormonal disturbance since the testicles may be producing less testosterone and the kidneys are in charge of hormones. Possibly, you’re tired from CKD induced anemia.  I’ve just mentioned a few possibilities. The silver lining is that there are almost as many treatments as there are causes.

While E.D. can be caused by renal disease, it can also be caused by diabetes and hypertension. All three are of importance to CKD patients. Sometimes, E.D. is caused by the medications for hypertension, depression and anxiety.  But, E.D. can also be caused by other diseases, injuries, surgeries, prostate cancer or a host of other conditions and bodily malfunctions. Psychologically, the problem may be caused by stress, low self-esteem, even guilt to name just a few of the possible causes.

The usual remedies for E.D. can be used with CKD patients, too, but you need to make certain your urologist and your nephrologists work together, especially if your treatment involves changing medications, hormone replacement therapy or an oral medication like Viagra. There are other treatments I haven’t mentioned here which you can research yourself by searching something like sex for CKD patients.

Sometimes, the treatment is as simple as counseling and the cessation of smoking and alcohol.  Hmmmm, as CKD patients, we’ve already been advised to stop smoking and drinking.  This is another reason for male CKD patients to do so.

Women with CKD may also suffer from sexual problems, but the causes can be complicated.  As with men, renal disease, diabetes and hypertension may contribute to the problem.  But so can poor body image, low self-esteem, depression, stress and sexual abuse.    Any chronic disease can make a man or a woman feel less sexual.

Some remedies for women are the same as those for men.  I discovered through my research that vaginal lubricants and technique, routine, and environment changes when making love, warm baths, massage, and vibrators can help. Again, there are other, more medical treatments.

Common sense tells us that sex or intimacy is not high on your list of priorities when you’ve just been recently diagnosed.  I was obsessed with my revulsion of dialysis and needed to hear over and over again that it was a couple of decades too early to worry about this.  I was also tired and didn’t know why, just worried that I would always need an afternoon rest period.  (Thanks to my nephrologist’s directed regime of iron on a daily basis, no more rest periods!)  Then I discovered that vaginal strep B can occur in women over 60 with CKD.  Luckily for me, if you catch it and treat it early on, it’s just an infection that you take antibiotics to kill.  If you don’t treat it early, you just may be looking at some serious consequences.

Since we’re in the early stages of CKD, chances are the sexual problem is not physical other than being tired.  I never talked to my nephrologist about sex because I felt there was no reason to, and I had a partner who was willing to work around my rest periods until I had the energy.  But, I am convinced, that if I ever do feel I have reason, I would talk to him. I’m older and prefer women doctors for the most part especially when it comes to private matters but this man is the specialist who knows far more than I do about this disease I am struggling to prevent from progressing.  There is a point when you realize your life is more important than not being embarrassed.

Sometimes people with chronic diseases can be so busy being the patient that they forget their partners have needs, too.  And sometimes, remembering to stay close, really close as in hugging and snuggling, can be helpful.  You’ve got to keep in mind that some CKD patients never have sexual problems, no change in frequency and depth of desire and no impairment in the act itself.  This is not the time to make yourself the textbook case of the CKD patient who suffers sexually because of her disease. The best advice I received in this area was make love even if you don’t want to.  Magic.

One caution for the pre-menopausal women reading this book: use protection even if you think you are incapable of becoming pregnant.  Pregnancy is risky for women with CKD. The risks for both the mother and fetus are high as is the risk of complications.  You’ll need to carefully discuss this with your nephrologist and your gynecologist should you absolutely, positively want to bear a child rather than adopt.

Sorry the blog about sex wasn’t what you were hoping it would be, but we are dealing with other medical problems when you have CKD.

Until Tuesday,

Keep loving your life!

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Published in: on January 7, 2011 at 10:26 pm  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. Excellent article Gail. Linda and I get questions about sex after transplant and your suggestions are excellent. One addition, anti-rejection drugs are calcium robbers and in men, this attributes to low testosterone. Have your level checked guys, if your low, get on supplements – they make a world of difference in helping with bone loss and libido.

    • Wow, I didn’t know that Rex. Dealing only with early stage Chronic Kidney Disease, I hadn’t researched what happens after a transplant. I’ll bet quite a few of my readers needed this information, so many thanks for letting them know what I didn’t.


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