Sex Sells… Well, It Keeps Us Interested Anyway

National Kidney MonthHappy Monday, blog writing day, my favorite day of the week.  You know, this is the third week of National Kidney Month which brings quite a bit of kidney disease awareness activity with it. For example, this past Friday and Saturday, The National Kidney Foundation of Arizona held its 17th annual conference in partnership with The CadioRenal Society of America.

I attended on Friday, renal day, since Saturday – cardio day – was a bit too over my head. I had the good luck to run right into Dr. James Ivie, Director of Patient Services, as soon as I entered the building. After I apologized for not having a book for him this year (SlowItDowCKD 2015 is available in digital, but the print version won’t be ready until later on this month.), he told me how very successful the conference was this year, easily surpassing the number of attendees from the year before.

He was so right. I could see for myself that the place was crowded and people were talking. More than one vendor was more interested in my CKD writing than in selling me their product. I was surprised, but delighted. Then I started attending the sessions and found the same with other attendees and, again, was delighted.Kidney Arizona

But what delighted me most was how much I understood.  You see, the more I understood, the more I could bring back to you. As usual, presenter styles varied from the one who simply read the statistics on her slideshow graphs for us to the one who told anecdotes, asked for audience participation, and had us both laughing and highly interested.

Her topic?  Enhancing Intimacy and Sexuality. Her name? Robin Siegel. She is a licensed clinical social worker. Learn.org at http://learn.org/articles/What_Does_LCSW_Stand_For.html tells us “An LCSW, or licensed clinical social worker, is a professional who provides counseling and psychosocial services to clients in clinical settings.”

Ms. Siegel was actually presenting about how nephrology staff can be helpful in these areas, but quite a bit of her information was also useful for Chronic Kidney Disease patients themselves… or those that write about CKD.

Hmmm, her ideas sounded familiar to me. Sure enough, it seems I had been thinking along the same lines when I wrote the following in What Is It and How Did I Get It? Early Stage Chronic Kidney Disease.

Book Cover“I haven’t found too much about sex that’s different from the problems of non-CKD patients although with this disease there may be a lower sex drive accompanied by a loss of libido and an inability to ejaculate. Usually, these problems start with an inability to keep an erection as long as usual.  The resulting impotency has a valid physical, psychological or psycho-physical cause…..

The usual remedies for E.D. can be used with CKD patients, too, but you need to make certain your urologist and your nephrologists work together, especially if your treatment involves changing medications, hormone replacement therapy or an oral medication like Viagra. …

Women with CKD may also suffer from sexual problems, but the causes can be complicated.  As with men, renal disease, diabetes and hypertension may contribute to the problem.  But so can poor body image, low self-esteem, depression, stress and sexual abuse. Any chronic disease can make a man or a woman feel less sexual.”

Ms. Siegel added to this by talking about possible medical intervention traumas, cultural values, and gender issues. What Is It and How Did I Get It? Early Stage Chronic Kidney Disease was written in 2010, although it was published in 2011. Transgender was hardly, if ever, mentioned in the news – medical or otherwise. It was almost the same for homosexuality. It’s a different world in 2016. We talk openly about sexuality. Well, let’s say many of us do. I really liked the way this presenter made it clear that these are simply part of some patients’ lives and must be treated respectfully, especially when dealing specifically with their sexuality.IMG_2867

We agreed about intimacy, too. More from What Is It and How Did I Get It? Early Stage Chronic Kidney Disease:

“Sometimes people with chronic diseases can be so busy being the patient that they forget their partners have needs, too.        And sometimes, remembering to stay close, really close as in hugging and snuggling, can be helpful….  The best advice I received in this area was make love even if you don’t want to.  Magic.”

Those last thoughts are purely mine, but Ms. Siegel did talk about the snuggling and hugging from a patient point of view: allowing, giving, getting.

Something else she introduced was the different cultural values in our present day society. That’s another thing that wasn’t as publicly prevalent as it is today. For example, certain cultures will not permit a male doctor if the patient is female. If you belong to one of these cultures, you can simply ask for a female nephrologist in the practice or for a referral to another practice with female nephrologists if yours doesn’t have any. (What???  In this day and age!!!!) According to one of my Muslim friends, there is a list of female doctors, including specialists, available in her community.

Other cultures will not allow eye contact. This is important for you to let your nephrologist know about so that he or she will not think you are avoiding topics if this is part of your culture. Sometimes written material such as handouts and pamphlets can allow you access to the same information you would have been told, too.

It seemed to me that Robin Siegel was making clear that there is no problem that can’t be attended to by your nephrologist or his/her staff – even sex and intimacy – with just a bit of adapting to whatever the patient’s (Oh, that means you and me.) sexuality and culture.

IMG_1398

I have been receiving all kinds of laudatory comments about The Book of Blogs: Moderate Stage Chronic Kidney Disease, Part 1 and The Book of Blogs: Moderate Stage Chronic Kidney Disease, Part 2 since SlowItDownCKD 2015 was published in digital last week. I like how that works: publish a new book and there’s renewed interest in your others. Feel free to write reviews on any and all of my four CKD books.

Until next week,

Keep living your life!

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